My father has not yet been dead a month. I have been trying really hard to forget what he looked like at the very end. His face had become distorted by the cancer behind his jaw, he had become emaciated and there was an open wound behind his ear. It was nightmare scary.
Since he died, I have had dreams about him, but they have been dreams in which he was still ill and I was still caring for him.
Last night I had a beautiful dream. My father was there and he was swinging me around like he used to do when I was a little girl. My skirt was billowing out and he was young and his arms were strong. We were laughing and when he set me down we were dancing around together and everything was wonderful. We were so happy and we laughed the whole time. He told me that everything is all right now and that I will go on to have many more amazing adventures in my life. This is how I will remember him. I feel like this dream was a gift from him.
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