War of the Squirrels

The other day I walked out of the house to see my son waving his fist at a palm tree.  The Ninja was sitting on the porch and by way of explanation said, "The squirrel is winning."

I have replaced the porch chairs that were shredded for squirrel nesting materials.  I think the new ones are safe until the next batch of babies.

The immediate problem (at least for me) is that the fig tree, which is separated from my head as I slumber by a single pane glass, has ripe figs on it.  The squirrels seem to have set up a sports league that centers on the figs.  Usually around two in the morning, the squirrels grab a fig or two (I can't actually see them... I'm guessing on all of this based on what it sounds like) and scamper up on the roof.  Hockey seems to be the sport of choice.  There is a lot of scrambling and crashing, but I hope it's playful, not in a death sport kind of way.

Luckily I have ear plugs that I bought because Zachary likes to come over in the middle of the night too, and is that boy loud.  The Ninja has tried to teach him how to walk and speak quietly, but Zach's kind of like a squirrel in that he just naturally is loud.  Yes.  I just said that squirrels are naturally loud.

I thought it might be nice to have a visual for this story so I googled "squirrel wars" and was amazed at how many images there were.  Go ahead... try it.  I don't know who Daniel is, but I shamelessly stole this image that was prepared for him by someone who went out of their way to spell like a cat.  (Yes, squirrels are noisy and cats are bad spellers.)

Natural Pools

Last week the LA Times did a piece about natural swimming pools.  There has been a move away from chlorine, because people don't like the smell or soaking in chemicals, and the big thing in California seems to be salt water pools.  They are supposed to be less damaging to your skin.  But here's an idea that I really like: having a fresh water pool system that cleans itself.

I love this plan.  Especially if the pool uses collected rain water for refilling.  It's kind of like a backyard reservoir.  And how cool is it to have a water garden and fish pond as part of your water complex?  Very cool. I hope it catches on in a big way.    

Days of Awe

On the first morning of Rosh Hashannah, I was sitting in services and I realized that in the Ukraine, tens of thousands of male Jews were dancing and praying and blowing shofars at the lake in Uman.  This is where Reb Nachman told his followers to go.  Reb Nachman is from Bratislav, not Uman.  He chose to be buried there because it was the grave site of a horrible massacre of Jews by the Ukrainians.  After he was buried there, it became the site of a horrible massacre of Jews by the Germans.  But now... each year at Rosh Hashannah (the Jewish new year) all these devout men converge and sing out the ten Psalms that Reb Nachman asked them to sing at his grave.  You can see the trailer for a documentary about it called Yippee! I highly recommend that you click on that link and watch it.

Amazing.  But also think about the fact that in the Ukraine they have been hard at work to remove traces of Yiddishkeit because that also erases their collective guilt.  What Jews?  There weren't any Jews in our village.  (For more on this subject I recommend reading Omer Bartov's book Erased: Vanishing Traces of Jewish Galacia in modern day Ukraine. (Yes, this is the kind of stuff I read in my spare time.))

But the whole point is that as I sat in services and started thinking of the singing and dancing and praising of G-d going on at a place that should strike terror in our hearts.  We win.  We kept our soul.

Weird America

It seems strange to me that a country that was built on war and manages to get involved in the conflicts of others pretty much constantly, has produced a society with zero tolerance for violence.

As fall approaches and football season is greeted with delight, there is a debate about NFL football not being good for the players.  Let's lay it out in it's most simple form... We take the nation's freakishly large men and we have them play, for our entertainment, a game that consists of them slamming into each other over and over.  Who was the genius that decided it probably wasn't good for the players?  But why are we always surprised?  What part of Michael Vick's violent dog fights seems out of character for an NFL player?

The whole idea of hate crimes seems odd to me too.  Is it a more serious crime because someone hates the group you are with than if they randomly attack you?  (I can visualize a defending attorney's questions leading up to a lesser sentence... "So you didn't actually hate the victim?"  "Oh no, I like him fine, I just felt like shooting someone in the head.")

Let's throw zero tolerance for bullying in there too.  We don't allow that in any case, however, when you turn 18 we would like you to join the military and kill some people for us.  Just remember that when you come back, we really don't want to hear about it.

Next thing you know, they'll be saying that hockey is dangerous.

This Karma Thing Better Work

This morning our copy of the LA Times was soaking wet.  I don't have the patience to call and wait for them to bring us a dry one, so I walked over to Lee's grocery store to get one.  I don't know if I've ever mentioned that Lee's is directly across the street from my synagogue.  That's important to this story.  When I walked into the store there was a large man at the counter.  He was playing the lottery.  He was covered in Neo-Nazi tattoos.  I thought about having a chat with him about his tat's but I adore Lee and didn't want to start trouble in her store.

I just think there's something wrong with a skin head going into a Cambodian run grocery store, right across the street from a synagogue, and playing a game that involves luck.  If he wins the $105,000,000 jackpot, I am going to have to totally rethink this karma stuff.

Desalination With a Grain of Salt

A couple of posts ago I mentioned that I would write about a desalination theory that may or may not give us a clue about an elegant way to convert ocean water into potable water.

First of all, let me tell you from whence this theory came.  An old man from Southern Utah explained this theory to my brother Dave.  So we need to keep in mind that A) for some reason people like to tell my brother weird stuff and B) southern Utah is a mecca for crazy people.  Remember the harmonic convergence?  Those guys were waiting for aliens to pick them up at four corners (one corner is in southern Utah).  My mom had a cousin who shaved and tattooed her head before she went down so the aliens would recognize her as one of their own.  Come to think of it, she could've been one of their own.  Also southern Utah has produced a whole slew of Polygamists... Warren Jeffs for example. (If you want a fun outing for the kids, you can take them to see the polygamists shopping at Walmart in St. George.  It's kind of like going to see a hostile version of the Amish.) There are people down in the desert there who are living in bunkers and stock piling weapons just in case the Feds come after them.  Oddly enough, people from any of those groups, love explaining stuff to my brother Dave.  Dave usually argues with them, but in a respectful way, which I guess is why they single him out.  I just try to avoid them.

Anyway, here's what the old guy (who may or may not be crazy) told my brother.  He said that when he was younger and working as a scientist, he became impressed with the "fact" that water at different levels in the ocean, had varying levels of salt in them.  The top level was the saltiest (which actually makes sense to me when you think about evaporation occurring at that level).  If this is true, than the deeper you go, the saltier it would get.  But no... this guy said that the water actually had layers of salinity that were measurable.   I don't remember the numbers but the idea was like this: the top foot would be saltiest but would be least salty 25 feet down, but then at 26 feet, it got salty again.  So this guy's idea was that if you built a series of tanks and kept drawing the water from the 25' mark, and then putting it in another tank so it could reach it's equilibrium again, you could just keep doing this until the water was desalinated.

I do not know if it's actually true that water at different levels naturally hold different amounts of salt.  But it's an idea to be put out there and kicked around.  With that in mind, keep in mind who came up with the theory.

Cheeky Beasts

On Friday as we were getting ready for Shabbat, a raccoon opened the screen door to the dining room and started to walk in.  This, despite the fact that Momo was standing by the table.  I heard Momo yell, "You cheeky beast!"  So the raccoon, sensing that he was not welcome, took his leave.  (I suspect that Momo's arch nemesis the squirrel, told him that Momo is an easy mark.)

We changed the lock on the garage door so we can lock it at night.  Lately when I go in there to do the laundry, things have been a bit more of a mess than usual.  The one thing that I have not been able to figure out is why Momo or the Ninja Who Lives Here keep getting the cooler chests out and opening them and leaving them in the middle of the floor.

Is nature reasserting itself and thinks it can find a foothold in our house?  Is the animal population simply following the lead of the feral men who come and go at will?  Is the fall of civilization getting a toe hold in my seemingly domestic house?

It reminds me of the song that I thought the Boomtown Rats sang, but apparently not since I can't find it on the web.  The lyrics were something about, "they're living off nuts and berries/they're making a fool of us".

Alas, even if I falsely remember that song as theirs, you should click on the link above to hear their most famous song.  Notice what the pianist is wearing.  Yes, Johnny Fingers was my teenage hero.  He went to school one day in his jammies (this is looooooooooong before fat women thought it was okay to go grocery shopping in PJ's).  He was told to go home and change and when he declined they told him that he couldn't go to school if he was going to wear his jammies.  It may be apocryphal, but it is said that he only wore jammies from that day on.  Although I suppose he wears trousers now to prevent people from confusing him with a fat woman doing grocery shopping.  Cheeky little beast.

I'm Baaaaaack

Sorry about the lack of postings for the last little while.  It's hot.  Maybe not as hot where you are, but for me, too hot.  Even Lee, who is from Cambodia, it's been too hot.  Lee wears a wet towel... I just lay around and moan about how hot it is.

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about desalinization and I will be back on that subject in the near future.