Cougars

Over the last few days a couple of women have asked me if I've read 50 Shades of Gray yet.  For those of you  who may have missed the reviews, this is an erotic book (or books... it's a trilogy) that is insanely popular among women right now.  No.  I haven't read it.  I'm not planning on reading it.

It might not be wise for a woman who seems to constantly treads water in a sea of testosterone to try to have some kind of sexual awakening.  Isn't there enough tumult of hormones around here without me also adding my longings to the mix?   Which is not to say that I fear becoming a cougar.  And that is not because it breaks my rule of 30* which I came up with at least 15 years ago.

My house is almost always filled to the brim with men.  Of course the place of honor is reserved for my ancient father.  Then we have my beloved son Momo (aka Hamad) and Benjamin the ninja who lives here.  Zachary theoretically does not live here.  He actually has his own apartment where he goes to sleep.  I think this is primarily because we don't have any more bedrooms.  Then we have a steady flow of young men from AEPi, which is the fraternity to which the boys belong.  Occasionally a Cambodian or two comes through.  These men range in age from 20 to 27.  Occasionally there may be someone older or younger.

These studly young men hold no attraction for me.  Don't get me wrong, a couple of them are absolutely gorgeous.  And most of them are perfectly charming.  But there's no spark.  I feel very maternally toward them.  They are simply my boys.

Every time I hear of some cougar who is my age (late forties... very late forties) dating someone their age, I just think "eewww".  I can't imagine being in a relationship like that and not constantly feeling like the responsible adult.  Frankly I'm weary to my bones of being the responsible adult.

Even though this may seem odd to younger people, our tastes change as we age.  Well, at least mine have.  Now what appeals to me are things like those little crinkles by a man's eyes when he laughs.  Gray hair now often seems like it would be very touchable.

In the defense of cougars, I do have to say that men our age still are captivated by youth.  If the only men who are going to pursue you are younger than you (and sometimes much younger) your choices sometimes diminish until you can choose to be alone, or to be a cougar.

The important thing in any intimate relationship is that both parties are stronger together than if they were alone.

For me, at this point in my life, I am happy baking cookies and listening to the wild adventures of my boys.


*Rule of Thirty: Do not date men under the age of 30 and do not bid higher than 30 while playing Pinochle.