Abandonment

For the record, I'd like to say that it is not okay to abandon people.  Usually I pussyfoot around this subject because so many of the people I know have abandoned people.  They always have great reasons.

Specifically I would like to address the issue of parents.  I know that in our society multi-generational households are the exception, not the rule.  People move away from home right after high school to pursue their dreams or even just a decent job.  This often means moving away from their family.  Okay, that's life.  That's the modern American way.  Keep in touch on Facebook, where everyone has a glorious life to present.  Guess what?  That's like those Christmas cards you get.  My mother had a friend who asked her, "Doesn't anyone else have f*#^ed up kids?"

I didn't really know my parents until I lived with them as an adult.  When I was in high school I was busy being a rebellious teenager.  We didn't have very many deep or meaningful conversations during those years. The folks were working and I was hanging out with my friends.

The reality is that you probably will have to move away.  And that's a good thing.  Just don't forget them.  Don't leave them out of your life or you won't ever know who they really are.  You actually have to figure out a way to spend time with them.

If, someday, you have to put them in a "Care Facility" (that's what they call nursing homes now), don't abandon them there to die.  Go see them.  Make sure the nurses know that you will checking up on them often.  If you don't, the nurses will focus on patients who have families that care.  Send them visual reminders like photos and cards and flowers so that when you aren't there, they know you still care.

If you have kids, let them spend time around your parents, even if your parents annoy the hell out of you.  If you don't, the kids will never really get where you are coming from and you will be quickly abandoned too.

I was so proud of the Obamas for moving grandma into the White House when they went.  They know that she has a lot to add to their family and that she will always be there for them.  The love of grandparents is a sweet love indeed.  They see your shortcomings, just like they saw those of your parents, and they realize that you'll probably be just fine, just like your parents.

If you missed the movie Parental Guidance, and you are a grandparent, parent or kidlett, I think you should watch it.  Here's the trailer: