Can you fail therapy? I started going to therapy to help me develop my meditation skills as a tool for pain relief. I'm really really bad at it. I had homework this week. I tried to do it but I think I may be a little too neurotic for it. One of the very first instructions is: close your eyes gently. What does that mean? Have I blown it if I slam my eyes shut? Squintching is tense, but most people don't squintch their eyes up unless something else bad is happening. If something bad is happening, shouldn't you pay attention instead of meditating?
One of the next directives is to "let your mind be soft". No kidding. That's what it says. I'm still trying to figure that one out. The problem is that the whole point of meditating is not to figure stuff out. I think it's supposed to be about spacing out.
I'm not saying that it doesn't help when I'm lying on the couch and the therapist is talking me through it, but I do have to ignore a lot of the prompts because you could analyse them all day. I think he's going to think I need therapy for the rest of my life. Maybe he's right, because I'm really bad at it.
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