Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Old People and Drugs

I am often vastly amused by the things that come out of the mouths of our elders.  Yesterday, for example, my father told his nurse that he needed more heroin.  When that didn't work, he asked for marijuana.  He's never had either, but apparently he's heard good things.  They gave him morphine instead.

My all time favorite was when I went with my mother and aunt to see their Aunt Esther.  Aunt Esther was so glad to see us.  She explained that she had had eye surgery and her kids were too damn cheap to hire a real doctor, so the quack had just scotch taped her eyes back in.  Denese reached over and adjusted Esther's bifocals so she could see out of the top half.  Luckily my Aunt Denese was good at figuring out miracle cures.

Papa's coming home today and a hoist was delivered to our house last night.  We are just renting it, but the boys have already decided that every house should have one.  We took turns hoisting each other and going on Mr. Toad rides around the house.  All the cool equipment is wasted on the old who don't even like Mr. Toad rides.

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